The Hedgehogs Dilemma
by TheGreatHibiki
Summary: A hedgehog desires for the comfort of other hedgehogs, but the more they get closer, the more they injure themselves. It's the same with some people. They are afraid to be hurt, so they stay distant, never getting close to anyone.


The hedgehog?s dilemma.  
  
By  
  
Allan ?ABE? Bryant.  
  
A hedgehog desires for the comfort of other hedgehogs, but the  
  
more they get closer, the more they injure themselfs. It?s the same with  
  
some people. They are afraid to be hurt, so they stay distant, never  
  
getting close to anyone.  
  
It was when she nearly died in the volcano that he realized how  
  
much he cared for her, he cared so much it scared him. He didn?t want to  
  
get close to her or Misato, it would hurt too much when they left him,  
  
everyone did. So he tried to cover it up from others and himself, but  
  
Rei knew. Somehow the first child saw through all the lies and denials.  
  
He tried to run away, only to see Unit-two?s mangled head after it  
  
crashed into the shelter he was cowering in. He tried to ignore her, but  
  
when he saw her lying on the ground after the fifteenth Angel, he could  
  
do neither. Now he couldn?t face her. Before, she was angry with little  
  
flashes of kindness and vunerability that he had fallen for. Now she was  
  
always angry, ecsspesialy at him and anything to do with Evangelion or  
  
NERV.  
  
She realised she was falling for him when she had kissed him.  
  
She, herself, had been so suprized by the actions, she freaked and tried  
  
to cover it by that stupid display. She thought she loved Kaji.. That  
  
Shinji was just another peverted boy. After spending so much time with  
  
him she had found he was diferent that other boys, another walking  
  
wounded like her, shy, afraid to get close to anyone, letting anyone and  
  
everyone order him around, never sticking up for himself. But that  
  
changed, he stopped letting people boss him around, and she found  
  
herself even more attracted to him. She tried to ignore her feelings,  
  
kept picking on him, but when he was sucked into the Angel, wonder girl  
  
seemed to notice how hurt she was after watching Shinji dissapear, as if  
  
Rei could see right into her soul. She tried to stay away from him, but  
  
everytime she went for tests, he was there worried about her, making it  
  
harder for her to stay away untill she couldn?t anymore. So now she was  
  
trying everything in her power to get him to hate her, she diserved it.  
  
She had failed in her Eva, twice. She wasn?t good enough for anyone, she  
  
felt dirty. She didn?t want them to look at her. She didn?t want to get  
  
close to anyone, afraid they would leave her like her mother did so long  
  
ago, they always do.  
  
Shinji didn?t want to get up. Asuka would yell at him like  
  
usual, Misato would probably pass out on the table, his friends were  
  
gone, Karwou was dead. He sighed and prepared for another horrible day.  
  
Asuka didn?t want to get up. Shinji wouldn?t face her and Misato  
  
would just pass out. Hikari was gone and the mall was destroyed. She  
  
sighed, she didn?t want to hurt Shinji but she couldn?t let herself get  
  
weaker than she already was, right?  
  
Misato didn?t want to get up. So she didn?t, she just passed out  
  
on her bed.  
  
?SHINJI!! Were is my breakfast!?? Demanded Asuka. Shinji came  
  
out of the kitchen and put down a plate. Shinji walked back into  
  
kitchen, he had been eating in there for the past week so he wouldn?t  
  
have to listen to her. Asuka was just about fed up with his behaivor.  
  
She stood up and walked into the doorway were the phone was she looked  
  
at the anwsering machine again. ?Dammit, why hasn?t Kaji called? We  
  
havn?t heard from him in almost a year. Shinji it?s your fault he took  
  
off.? Shinji slammed the plate he was scrubbing into the sink shattering  
  
it.  
  
?He is DEAD Asuka! Havn?t you gotten it through your thick  
  
German skull that he is dead.? She looked at him horrified. She had  
  
always hoped that Kaji went into hidding. That nothing and no one could  
  
kill Rouji Kaji. But Shinji... Shinji that idiot had to... to. Her face  
  
molded into anger as she brought up her hand and slapped him hard in the  
  
face, making him knock over the coffee maker spilling the nearly boiling  
  
liquid over him.  
  
?You IDIOT!!? She screamed and ran out the door. Shinji shook  
  
with rage, he had finnaly had enough. He took off after her. He caught  
  
her by her arm on the skirts of the lake, by a statue of an Angel  
  
slightly deformed by Unit-zero?s destruction, that stood in the twelve  
  
foot deep water. He violently spun her around and slapped her. She  
  
looked at him hatefully. She pushed away from him only to be grabbed by  
  
the shoulders and brought into a kiss. She struggled against him, her  
  
arms trapped by his body, for a few seconds more until she slowly leaned  
  
into the kiss. A gull passing by squaked at something, breaking Shinji?s  
  
rage bringing rational thought back to the boy. He realised what he was  
  
doing to Asuka and broke the kiss and realeased her. He backed away from  
  
saying he was sorry, turned, and began to run, Asuka reached out to him  
  
but he was already gone, her hand went back to her side. Asuka stood in  
  
total shock of what had just happened. Slowly she came back to some  
  
thinking level and began to walk back to the apartment. She arrived a  
  
few minutes later, Shinji wasn?t there. She wasn?t too sure of what  
  
happened. All she could remeber happening was she was running she had  
  
seen his face when she had slapped him, then he was slapping her then  
  
the next thing she new she was being kissed by Shinji. Shinji kissed  
  
her. She couldn?t seemed to get over that fact. She walked in, a  
  
simi-drunk Misato, she had been awakned by the fight, looked at her.  
  
?Wash happesh?? Slurred Misato.  
  
?Shinji and me got into a fight.? Misato looked at her frowned  
  
and shook her head. She walked into the kitchen and began to clean up  
  
the coffee about half way done she looked at the girl cleaning out the  
  
sink of the broken plate.  
  
?U knuw ie woves wou.? Asuka looked at the woman.  
  
?What are you talking about?? Misato seemed to shake off her  
  
drunken stuper.  
  
?Asuka... Shinji loves you, you know don?t you?? The girl looked  
  
at her stupidly.  
  
?He... He loves... m-me...? Asuka?s excpression went blank as  
  
she pretty much zoned out. *WHAT!?... IDIOT!! Why did he have to fall  
  
for me, I don?t want to get close to him, I don?t want him too. No, no,  
  
n-nonononooo! I don?t want his love, I don?t diserve it, I don?t want  
  
Misato?s either. They can?t get close to me... Everyone I love always  
  
die, I don?t want it to happen to them!! Please don?t make me love them,  
  
I don?t want too.* A voice came came alive in her. *You all ready do,  
  
that is why you don?t want them hurt. No! I don?t love them, I hate  
  
Shinji! I can?t love him. You do... Yes you do. But I don?t want too.  
  
You fear being hurt, Shinji is afraid of this also, that is why he ran.  
  
He ran away from me, I didn?t want him too. You are now contradicting  
  
yourself. I don?t want him to run away any further. You fear being  
  
alone. I need to find him. You seek love when you fear it. I need to say  
  
I?m sorry. You feel guilty. I need to show him I care. You wish to  
  
exspose yourself to hurt, just to feel love? Yes. You are brave. I have  
  
to be.*  
  
?Asuka? Asuka!! Asuka are you okay?? Asuka came back, Misato was  
  
holding onto her shoulders. ?Oh God Asuka I?m sorry, I didn?t know.... I  
  
thought you knew. I didn?t realize.?  
  
?I... I need to find him.? Misato helped her off the ground, her  
  
legs had fallen out beneath her. She looked at Misato, Misato finnaly  
  
out of her drunken haze, her face looking at her with pure concern.  
  
Asuka found herself hugging Misato, like a daughter would do to a mother  
  
she hadn?t seen in a while. She realeased Misato, who nodded to her and  
  
Asuka ran out the door. She didn?t have any idea were she was going  
  
untill she had gotten herself lost, she was some were on the mountian,  
  
it seemed familar. She kept going until she had found a small pond far  
  
off from civilization. As she neared she began to hear someone crying  
  
queitly. She stepped into the clearing, a figure hunched up next to the  
  
pond was vissable, his quaking shoulders never stopping. She knew it was  
  
Shinji imediatly. She ran up to him and picked him up by his shoulders,  
  
she turned him around. He saw it was Asuka and his face went deadly. She  
  
was about to get angry herself when she heard the voice again. *You fear  
  
being hurt, Shinji is afraid of this also, that is why he ran.* She  
  
raised her hand and slapped him. He looked at her, stuned. ?That?s for  
  
running away from me.... And this is for the kiss.? She she grabbed him  
  
by his shoulders again, like he had done and kissed him. Shinji soon  
  
fell into the kiss, his hands found their way to her back holding her  
  
close to him as hers found their way from his shoulders to around his neck.  
  
Sometimes... the hedgehogs get fed up with the loneliness and  
  
rip off their spines so they can be together. And sometimes people love  
  
a person so much they don?t care if they will be hurt or not.  
  
Asuka slowly broke the kiss, she found herself hugging him as if  
  
her life depended on it, much like what she had done with Misato, but  
  
this time it was more meaningful. Shinji hugged her back, he never  
  
wanted to let go, but it wouldn?t last. She would go away, he needed  
  
to... to. Slowly they parted. Shinji moved away from her.  
  
?Shinji what?s wrong?? He wouldn?t look at her. ?Please tell me.?  
  
?I?m afraid of getting close to you... I don?t want to be hurt  
  
again.?  
  
?Neither did I, but I can?t deny my feelings anymore... No  
  
matter if I get hurt or not.? He turned towards her again. ?I.. tried so  
  
hard not too but I can?t, it has to stop. Shinji I like you. I more than  
  
like you. I... I...? She looked down, ashamed of what she had admitted  
  
when he felt his hands come around her. She looked up into his face.  
  
?Don?t worry... I feel the same way. I felt you would go away  
  
like everyone else.?  
  
?I felt you would too...? She found herself in a kiss again.  
  
To bo continued... Maybe. 


End file.
